Category: Joke Board
The U.S. Army recruited more than 2,600 soldiers
under new lower aptitude standards this year, helping
the service beat its goal of 80,000 recruits in the
throes of an unpopular war and mounting casualties.
Although a high school diploma is still required,
lower standardized test scores are now allowed.
The Top 20 Questions on the New Army Recruitment Exam
20> True or false: The president of the United States is always
right.
19> A gun has a handle at one end and a hole for the bullets to
come out at the other end. As a general rule, which end points
AWAY from you?
18> Can you count to 21 without getting naked?
17> What do you call those little chips of chocolate in chocolate
chip ice cream?
16> If a bullet traveling at a velocity of 3000 feet per second
is fired at a woodchuck from a distance of 100 meters, how
much wood could the woodchuck chuck before... nah, we're just
playing. There's no math on this test.
15> Do you own any Kevlar? Do you have any extra?
14> Discuss the relationship between Einstein's theory of
relativity and quantum physics *or* name your favorite color.
13> Can you name three friends who might be interested in armed
forces careers?
12> When on leave in Thailand, which of the following is a better
deal?
(A) around the world with an 18-year-old co-ed for 350 baht.
(B) a happy-ending massage given by a 50-year-old woman
for 250,000 baht.
11> Three barefoot men enter a room and lock the door. The only
thing in the room is a block of ice in the shape of a goat
and three quarts of steamed mussels. The next morning all
three men leave the room. Question: How many men are left
in the room?
10> A newrecruitvolunterringforanindeterminatetourinIraq says,
"What"?
9> Shooting which of these will permanently end your Army career?
(A) your enemies;
(B) your fellow soldiers;
(C) yourself.
8> As long as you're already here, would you like to go ahead
and re-enlist now?
7> A chicken has crossed the road. What interrogation methods are
permissible to use on the chicken to find out why?
6> The Houston Astros of Houston, Texas, play their home games
in what Texas city named after General Sam Houston?
5> You're an army of one. How big is your unit, soldier?
4> When you hear "Drop and give me 20!" you should:
(A) perform 20 push-ups on the spot;
(B) bust an extended rhyme;
(C) take a hit of LSD and pay your dealer.
3> Which of the following is NOT a gun?
(A) shotgun;
(B) machine gun;
(C) BB gun;
(D) Paris Hilton.
2> From the list below choose (1) the one you are NOT to shoot,
and (2) the one least likely to shoot you:
(A) al-Qaeda;
(B) al-Zawahri;
(C) al-Gore;
(D) Dick Cheney.
and the Number 1
Question on the New Army Recruitment Exam...
1> Do you have *any* idea where Osama bin Laden is hiding?
Ha ha ha!
I got four of them.
Bob
LOL Bob, I thought you were smarter than that.
All joking aside, isn't it really kind of sad that we are lowering the standards and letting dumber and dumber people into the armed forces? These people are supposed to be defending this country. How stupid do we want them to be?